I've Loved You So Long

If you like character-driven movies, then you will very much enjoy "I've Loved you So Long." It chronicles the slow and raw redemption of a relationship between two sisters, and also how a person can rediscover hope despite a past full of sadness and despair. Touching, honest, and beautiful to the end.

8/10

Must Reads

I recently finished reading both "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus," by Spangler and Tverberg, and "The Prodigal God," by Timothy Keller, and I have to say, each of them were excellent. I actually read "The Prodigal God," in one sitting.

Reviews forthcoming, but both of these books are highly recommended.

Just Courage: God's Great Expedition for the Restless Christian, by Gary Haugen, spoke directly to the person that I find myself to be: a restless Christian.

It's interesting, because many times in the past year I have spoken to my husband about this feeling I have of being prepared by God for something MORE than I am doing, like I am standing at the crossroads of something important or there is a movement starting that I am supposed to be a part of, but I don't know where or what it is. After the pull to move forward, I've always been unclear of where to go. It is so frustrating to be filled up with something and have no idea what to pour that something into. It's maddening, to have desire, but no direction. Thankfully, I feel like God answered my prayers a little with Just Courage, and painted me an arrow.

Two Scripture passages, Isaiah 58 and Micah 6:8, are ideas that God has continually brought me back to and rooted in my mind and my heart, and both are used repeatedly throughout this book. Basically, they summarize the idea that God doesn't desire our "religion" and our "ceremony," He desires love and action and a willingness in us to battle for what is good. Just Courage backed that idea up and gave examples of people who are currently fighting for much-needed justice in our world, and it was like breathing in a gust of fresh air.

Another idea that was encouraging to read about in Just Courage was the concept that Jesus is NOT boring, and that He doesn't expect Christianity or our lives to be either. Jesus calls us to be brave, and it is an adventure to follow Him. I love that, because Jesus has never seemed quiet or safe or mediocre to me, and the description of Him as a passionate leader and fighter of justice seems much more fitting to what He is and has been for me in my own personal experience.

Just Courage sums up this idea perfectly with the C.S. Lewis quote that alludes to Jesus this way; "Of course He's not safe, but He's good."

I like that. Jesus calls us to a life of incredible blessing, but He also requires of us great risk and personal sacrifice. More and more I find myself desiring the risk just as much as the blessing. I want to experience all of it, not just the soft stuff. I want to know and follow the REAL Jesus, not the one that we've created Him to be.

I want to be brave.


"For I did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." (The words of God through 1Timothy).

"With all this wide and beautiful creation before me, the restless soul longs to enjoy its liberty and rest beyond its bound."

- Teresa of Avila

Throughout my life, I have always felt a twinge of restlessness that I can't seem to shake. Lately, that twinge has grown into something strong. It feels as though something is missing within our society; that life is not meant to be mapped out like it is. I watch people work their lives away, talking about what they will do "when they have time," and "when things slow down," and I feel sad. Is this what God created us for? Can life boil down to endless days of 9 - 5, coming and going, always the same? My heart feels bigger than that. I wake up and sit on my porch and feel the wind and the sun on my face, and sense a promise there. God has laid something big and full of hope in front of us, all around us, hedging us in on all sides, and I want to stay there. I want to live a life that is more meaningful than worldly security. I want to connect with people and experience love and relationships. I want to live differently, as I think we are meant to live. In FREEDOM. Our jobs don't own us, money holds no power over things that truly matter, and life stretches before us like an open road. Why do we let our circumstances and society's assumptions dictate us? I want to live a life that allows me to wake up in the morning and breathe, knowing that the full potential of joy and rest await me. No schedules. Just the hope that God constantly offers us.

How do these ideas translate into life? Personally for me, they mean dedicating my life to learning about the Bible and who Jesus was on earth. God has given me a passion for biblical history, and He wouldn't have rooted this desire so deep in my heart if it wasn't meant for something important. I truly believe that, and I want to use what He has given me for good. Truth be told, most people seem to think that living the life of a biblical scholar is naive and irresponsible and should only be looked on as a hobby. I disagree. Why waste the majority of my time investing in things that I don't care about and that spark no joy in me? I will not live a life of obligation. If that is irresponsible, than that is my title. Call it what you may, but I always feel God most strong at my back when I am walking in a direction that is different from most around me, and that is my reassurance.

A joy steeped in the Lord and in the fulfillment of His promises can change the world.


And I believe in the promises of the one who made us. I believe that He came that we might have life, and have it to the FULL.

I want to live accordingly.